Every women starts by being independent. There is no one you need to give priority to. You can sleep till late in the morning and stay awake all night, with no one to worry about. You are a free soul. You can hang out with friends, go out for a late night movie and escape to a new place every weekend.
Then comes the advice – ‘get married, you can’t be single for long, people will opine you have some fault. Find a guy and settle down’ (as if finding a guy is as easy as finding your slip on). You hunt for the perfect husband material and you choose one with whom your interests match and finally take the plunge.
Life becomes different. You can no longer sleep till late in the morning or stay awake all night. You have to reschedule your life to match that of your in-laws and your better half. You think about your man first; what he likes to eat, how he likes you to be dressed and such. From ‘me’ time, you now work towards ‘us’ time. You go to places with your man and share experiences when earlier it was just you or a few friends. Of course you do it with pleasure, you have that skill in-built. You are a woman – the greatest and most versatile creation of God.
Just as you have finally attuned to your life, in comes the second piece of advice – again for free. ‘Have a kid – you two must raise a family. You must have a child who will bring meaning to your lives.’
You reboot your system and decide to embrace a little soul. The idea of giving life to someone overpowers all your other desires and wishes. You can’t eat, sleep, move around easily but you embrace it and you are happy and take pride in the idea that you are a creator. Gradually, the little soul becomes a part of life.
Your husband and your child become a part of your dreams and wishes. Whatever you plan, you execute with them. They aren’t just a part of your life, they become your life.
You are happy with your little family. Then comes – ‘Your child needs a sibling. Why aren’t you thinking about the child, he needs company’. Now you have to think about giving your child a sibling to play and fight with. I mean, seriously! An only child is not always lonely, they make friends, and they have company.
I guess every woman goes through these phases in life. I came to the conclusion that us women no matter how independent we may be, are never free from these advices. When to marry – to marry or not marry, when to have a child – to have a child or not, when to have a second child – is all administered voluntarily by others.
By Bristisnata Gogoi
