There was a time when most married couples would ultimately start family planning but nowadays that trend has changed a little. Even though a lot of modern couples still want to have children, there are also couples who are unsure about whether they want to embrace parenthood. If you fall in the latter category, remember that there is no right answer when it comes to family planning, you can choose to have children or not. It is your decision to make at the end, and you shouldn’t have to justify your decision to anyone. However, if you are on the fence about the decision, here are some things that you can do to help you see things more clearly.
What’s the Motivation?
Ask yourself why you are thinking about having a child. Is it because you are being questioned by family members? Is it because all your friends have kids? Deciding to have children should come from within; it should not be influenced by external forces. If you are a place in life where you feel like you are ready to commit to a baby then you should go ahead and plan accordingly. But if you feel that having a baby will stop you from achieving your goals and dreams then you should stop and figure out what you really want. Keep in mind that you can always rethink the decision in a year or two; give yourself space so that you don’t make the decision in a hurry.
Are You Ready to Commit?
Having a baby is a big commitment and don’t only think about the pregnancy and delivery. You will need to pay for school and college, and will need to support the child till he/she is old enough to get a job and earn a livelihood. There will be a lot of expenses, but that is not all, you will also need to put a lot of effort into raising the child and make him/her into a good human being. You are going to have to look out for the child for the rest of your life. You should be sure that is something that you can handle.
Imagine a Life Without Kids
If you have grown up with the idea that you have to raise a child, take a moment and think of a life without children. Imagine how that would affect your life, your work and every other aspect of your life. Also, if you think something takes priority over having kids, give some serious thought about whether it will be compromised if you were to have kids? Can you still enjoy it if you have kids? You should ask yourself all these questions to be sure. After all that, if you feel that the future does not seem happy or joyful without children then you should start family planning, but if you feel that you will be much happier without kids then choose otherwise.
Get a Check-Up
Before you decide to have children, you should get yourself checked and find out whether you are fit enough. If you have a chronic condition then you should consult with your doctor and find out if and how that will affect your child. Not only physical, you should check whether you are mentally fit enough to raise a child with the care and attention it needs. If you suffer from depression or anxiety then you should speak to your mental health professional and get their advice on whether your condition will impact the child in any way.
Are Your Finances in Order?
Raising a child is not cheap, you will need a lot of funds to provide for the child and so you should have enough money in the bank to see you through. Now, we don’t mean that you should have loads of money saved before trying for a baby but if you really want to have one then you should start saving and chalk out a plan about how you will manage with regards to the increasing expenses as the child grows up. You can open an extra saving account where you and your spouse can transfer a little money from your own accounts every month and later once the child grows up, you can use it as college funds.
Speak to Your Spouse
No matter what you decide, you and your spouse should be on the same page. Once you have a child, he/she is not only the responsibility of a single parent. You both will have to work together to ensure that the child receives all the love and attention he/she deserves. You are a team and that is why you should both discuss the matter together. Talking about your concerns and needs can help you see the matter from each other’s perspective. This will help both of you understand and assess whether you are ready to have a child. You both may want different things but you need to be able to come to an agreement. Take it slow and don’t push your own opinions. Above all, you need to be honest with each other. That is the only way you will be able to get on the same page.
Consider the Support System
Before you make a decision, you should think about the support system that you have around you. It won’t be possible to handle everything on your own. You will need help and advice from people who know what they are talking about. Think about it and make a mental list of all the people you can bank on for support. Keep in mind that an extra hand can help make it easier for you, and knowing that can be the clincher between you wanting and not wanting to have a baby.
After all this, if you want to have a baby, go ahead and get planning. But if choose not to, remember that is okay too. Do what feels right for you!
