Most parents expect a lot from their children especially to do well in every exam. This is not a bad thing, but many times children feel pressured. We are not exhibiting our expectations in the right way which can lead to stress among children.
Some parents try to get rid of cable connection, internet, computer, so that their children can concentrate. We also have a habit of scheduling study time based on our requirements, but this is not right. Students should be given the liberty to study at their own convenient time. Also, we need to keep in mind that it is okay to take a little break.
Parents should give children enough space and emotional support. Constant monitoring may compel some children to lie about their progress. Students who feel pressured may end up falling prey to alcoholism, smoking or drug abuse.
A student should not only be judged based on his marks. There are other ways to glorify one’s life. Parents should make sure not to lower the self-esteem of the child. It is not okay to criticize, compare or humiliate a child or force own ambitions on children. Instead help your child become a sensible and compassionate individual. Verbal as well as physical expressions of love make kids believe that their parents are always with them. It helps them become confident and smart.
It is possible that children may wish for things that do not suit them, but denying their choices instantly will make them feel rejected and disappointed. Parents must find out a way so that the children not get disheartened. Involve them in the decision making process by inviting their opinions and suggestions, this will make them feel important at home. Physical punishment should not be opted as corrective measures for children.
I would like to share an example. One of my brothers had a little spat with his younger son named Sunny (not real name) who was studying in class VII then. Both refused to talk thing out and they drifted apart. There was no verbal exchange between them for four years. They lived under one roof but there was no bonding between them. Sunny did whatever he wanted. He became hot-headed and did not listen to his mom. Gradually he became violent and started smoking, drinking and gambling with his friends. He kept demanding money, more than his parents could afford.
He was searching for someone who can love and care for him. He was a brilliant student once but he only somehow managed to get promoted to class X.
A child who feels neglected by his or her parents is likely to have a deficit in his or her psychological development. In this case, parent-child relationship was poor, and so the child was emotionally detached and withdrawn.
This is why parents should involve in all family activities like listening to each other, eating together, gardening, playing together, walking etc. This would definitely enhance love and affection within the family members. By listening carefully parents can observe the shortfalls of their children and take corrective measures. Interpersonal relationships with the warmth of parental affection helps kids become mature and responsible.
By Rabin Prasad Kalita