Opportunities is the reason I decided to request, and beg, my parents to let me apply for an institute outside of the Northeast. I want to become a journalist, is what I told them. I want to learn from the best, was my main argument. I believed graduating from a good institute would be enough to kick-start a career in journalism. How naïve!
As the placement weeks passed, I couldn’t help but feel lost and insecure. Was I not good enough for anyone?
I dived into the world of job websites, signing up for every website I could find. I started contacting all my friends, who had friends, in the media Industry.
‘They don’t take Fresher’s,’ came the reply.
‘Adulting’ as described by Urban Dictionary is to do grown up things and hold responsibilities. Dice Media, which makes web series and shows, has a web series on YouTube with the same name, Adulting. I have yet to watch the series, but I did check the trailer out and got a glimpse of what it is about.
Adulting is tough, was the phrase that I started to use ever-so-often in my daily life.
The guilt of not being able to get a job is starting to consume me, after all, I was the one who promised my parents that I would do well, if they let me attend the institute I wanted to study in Delhi. They agreed, even though they had their doubts. I feel like I have lost the battle. My mind torn, between trying again and not giving up, to just returning back home to the safety of my family.
My friends warned me, to never let it show on your face. I try again and again every single day, but with every rejection, my heart sinks. I don’t want sympathy, and I know that life will never be easy. Ups and downs are a part of ‘adulting’.
Maybe, I am lacking and have not worked hard enough, but again, I don’t believe that either. Yes, I may be naïve, and I lack experience. I also come off as meek and not very confident in interviews, but I don’t shy away from hard work. I am willing to learn, and I hope I will get through this chapter of my life, alive and stronger than before, to finally be able to get the know-how on adulting and of course, a job.
By Garen Warjri Panor